


Masters and Johnson

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-07-31
Updated: 1998-07-31
Packaged: 2018-11-20 19:33:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11341869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Mulder and Skinner get it on: same old fuck, brand new dialogue.





	Masters and Johnson

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Masters & Johnson by Halrloprillalar

Thu, 26 Feb 1998  
RATING: NC-17 M/M Slash  
ARCHIVE: OK for MSSS  
NOTES: This bit of fluff was inspired by the recent discussion on X/ about various strange and wonderful synonyms for certain body parts. Thanks to Sergeeva for looking it over for me and to whoever posted about the Mighty Python of Love.  
SUMMARY: Humour. Mulder & Skinner get it on: same old fuck, brand new dialogue.  
DISCLAIMER: The XXX-Files belong to Chris "Ten CCs" Carter, 10 "69" 13, and "Foxy" Fox. Please don't sue me; I was drugged.  
DEDICATION: To all the men reading and writing XF slash.

* * *

Masters & Johnson  
by Halrloprillalar <>

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?  
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?  
   - The Penis Song, Monty Python

Fox Mulder opened his apartment door to reveal Walter Skinner.

"Get in here, Colonel, Little Elvis is lonesome tonight."

"Hello, Agent Mulder. I'm quite eager for sexual congress also."

"Mmm...slurp my face off, Suction Stud. Get that Love Slug in my mouth..."

"Yes, I find the pleasure of osculation is much enhanced by the insertion of the tongue. The friction of your hands on my skin is increasing my arousal."

"I'm going to grope you all over, Squeeze Toy, I'm going to press your Love Buttons..."

"The slight irritation of my nipples is pleasant...would you like me to reciprocate?"

"Oh, yeah! Paint them with your drooling tongue-brush, Handy Man."

"Your buttocks are smooth and firm to the touch, most enjoyable. Please, palpitate mine as well."

"Oooh, these Man-Melons feel ripe to me...Willy Rattlestick wants to meet Big Ben...mmm...my Mighty Python of Love is crawling all over your Beefy Boa Constrictor...I wanna hatch your Man Eggs...squeeze the presents in Santa's Sack.."

"The genital contact and testicular manipulation are extremely exciting. Agent Mulder, would you please fellate me for a while?"

"Candyman, I'll suck that Lollipop of Lust all day long..."

"Your mouth on my phallus is skillful as always...but I would prefer not to climax just now. Perhaps it it time to initiate anal intercourse."

"Don't want that Walter-Twinkie to lose its creamy filling? Can I sheath my Singing Sword in your tight scabbard?"

"Please, penetrate my anus. I will stimulate my membrum virile manually as you thrust."

"Spank that monkey, Lovebug...I'm baking my bread in your hot oven...drilling for White Gold...sending my Freight Train into your Tunnel of Love..."

"Mulder, just shut up and fuck me."

So Mulder shut up and fucked Skinner and after a while, Skinner had a very intense orgasm, ejaculating his semen onto his own abdomen and chest. Mulder shot his Love Load at the same time, cumming and cumming as he poured his Hot White Man Sauce into Skinner's Vol-au-Vent case.

And they both lived happily ever after.

FINIS

Did I miss your favorite term? Complaints and other feedback enjoyed and replied to at .


End file.
